August Loneliness Syndrome

Hello, August! 😊

I'm so used of the phrase "(insert month here), please be good to me!" Every 1st of the month, I always see status like that. Yes, I'm guilty. I'm one of those who posts phrase like that. So August, it is! Haha. My birth month. I know, it's too soon to announce my birthday. But I'm feeling sad more than usual. I always feel lonely whenever my birthday's coming up. It's normal for me to feel lonely. First of all, sino ba namang di malulungkot pag palaging may bagyo ng birthday mo? Haha. Yung mga eksenang, naghanda ka tapos walang pumunta kasi nga malakas ang ulan. Yung mga eksenang naglilimas ka ng tubig sa bahay nyo kasi binaha yung birthday mo. Haha. Masaya, diba? Well ofcourse, I'm thankful for another year. But sometimes I don't know why I always feel lonely whenever it's coming up. 

August had been very good to me 'FINANCIALLY'. Yes! But, with what's going on with my life right now? Hindi ko na alam. Siguro I deserve this all. Kasalanan ko naman lahat. I always have a choice, pero lagi na lang yung mali yung napipili kong choice. And in the end, nagsusuffer din naman ako. 😔 Ang hirap! I haven't been sleeping much lately. Yung tulog ka pero yung isip mo alive pa din? Haha. Di makakain ng maayos. Ang hirap ng wala ka makausap. I mean, yes I have friends and I tell them what's going on but nobody can understand it well than me. They just heard story. They comfort me, yes. But at the end of the day, I always feel empty. 😔 I've always been seeking to God. But I don't know anymore whats going on with me. I'm so sad. 😭 Sometimes tears suddenly roll down my cheeks without any reason. It's so hard. So hard especially when I don't have someone I expect to be with. Hay! Sana matapos na tong August. Sana matapos na yung sakit. Haaay. On the other side, what keeps me going is that I know God is preparing something better for me. I always keep that in mind. So, whenever you feel the same as I do. Always pray. And just be strong! We can do it!! Keep holding on. 😘